meep facts: the contradiction/confession list

1.a) I don't like diamonds.

They're absurdly expensive pieces of clear rock, and there's way too much importance placed on them. Why does our society want us to think that spending thousands of dollars on a diamond is the thing that you're just supposed to do? The saying "Diamonds are a girl's best friend" makes me cringe. And although I've read recently that diamonds are now ethically sourced, I still wonder if that's true, and if people are losing their lives just so people in the first world can have a sparkly clear rock embedded in their jewelry.

1.b) I wear a 1 carat diamond engagement ring every day. At the time it was purchased, Wade didn't know that I think diamonds are stupid. So I wear it. Meh. And when we were robbed, I was so relieved to see that the burglars had missed it lying on a shelf.

2.a) I think marijuana should be legalized.

This thing that grows in nature without chemical additives can be smoked and ease all sorts of discomforts: nausea, pain, and anxiety, to name a few. I have never once seen anyone get violent or aggressive after smoking weed. Can you say the same for alcohol? Nope. Obviously, either of these in excess has consequences. But I would much prefer to be around someone who is mellow and smoking weed than a sloppy drunk. My tolerance of drunk people is pretty much zero at this point. And really, just think about all the tons of cash the government could make if they legalized pot and could tax it.

2.b) I don't smoke, and have an alcoholic drink maybe once a month.

3.a) As a self-proclaimed hippie, I only use natural beauty products. I also am gluten-free, and make most of my meals vegetarian and organic. All my cleaning products are eco-friendly, and I recycle everything. I make my own deodorant out of kitchen ingredients. All very hippie-ish things.

3.b) I am so guilty of rolling my eyes when I hear people talk about things like giving their kids colloidal silver every day, or getting all angry about vaccines that have kept people from getting polio and other awful diseases. And in my head, I go, Do some research and educate yourself, you fucking hippie. I'm very aware of how judgmental and shitty of me it is to think this way. I also don't cloth diaper my baby, and use disposable diapers, which I know will end up in a landfill and take 500 million years to decompose.

4.a) I think it's really important to be okay with who you are, and embrace your physical flaws as things that are normal, and know that perfect isn't real or possible.

4.b) When my hair turns grey, I am going to dye the shit out of it. I also have been watching old episodes of Nip Tuck on Netflix (new to me) and have realized that I think I would be okay with some corrective surgery on myself if I got older and things started to hang weirdly. Like, if I got the really unfortunate rooster neck that pretty much everyone on both sides of my family has. I know, I know. So fucked up. But true.

5.a) When people are on their cell phones all the time, I get so annoyed. You know, the ones who tweet every single thing they're doing ("Walking my dog - passed 4 mailboxes!"), or random song lyrics all day long and expect others to find meaning or interest in them. I find it excessive and wish people would unplug for a minute, without having to record every single tiny detail of their day in the most narcissistic way for all of the internet to see. Like, just go on a walk and look around, without having to be on your phone. And I get especially annoyed when young teenagers have very expensive gadgety phones.

5.b) Right now, my cell phone is very basic and exists pretty much so I don't get murdered if my car breaks down while I'm driving the kids around, but I really do want an expensive gadgety phone. They're just so cool. Shameface.


Now that I've told you all the things that will make me sound like the world's biggest a-hole, please tell me some of yours, just so I'm not alone in my a-holery.