this is nutty, yo*

*Alternative title: Eat My Nuts. (I kept it classy. You're welcome.)

A couple of weeks ago, Jess and I started a pact where we text each other in the evenings to hold each other accountable for the things we eat. Because I can go all day long and be a good little hippie and only eat healthy foods, and talk to my kids all day about the importance of choosing healthy foods. And then when the kids go to bed, I'm all, "CANDEHHHHH! GET IN MY FACEHOLE, CANDEHHHHH!!!" So having a friend I can be accountable to really is helping me not eat filth at night, which is in turn going to help my pants fit better. 

I make this shake a lot for lunch because during the day, it's just Audrey and me hanging around at home. And on the days that we're not shoveling piles of leftover brussels sprouts in our faces, (I'm not even making a joke there. We seriously plowed through some brussels sprouts today, my tiny lady and I.) I make this smoothie for us and we love it. So now I'm going to share.

First, I mix this bad mofo up in a Vitamix. It is the most magical piece of kitchen equipment I own, and by that, I mean I use it all the freaking time and can do loads of stuff with it. My Gram gave it to me because she bought it and wasn't using it, so I understand that it's crazy expensive and not everybody can go that route. I wouldn't have been able to, if it hadn't been for The Gram-ster. 

Ingredients:

- 1 cup almond milk

- 1 handful raw almonds

- 4 or 5 dates (pitted)

- 1 banana

- 1 tablespoon chia seeds

- 1 tablespoon flax (you could use meal or seeds. whatever)

- a few ice cubes, at the very end because the Vitamix puts off a ton of heat and warm smoothies are about as appealing as making out with Richard Simmons. Another thought would be to start with frozen ingredients, but I never have that kind of brilliant foresight.

I have also been changing it up recently because I'm a total rogue and you never know what kind of badass things I'm going to do. Watch out! I might switch out smoothie ingredients on you! Living on the edge! So, yeah. I sometimes put in some plain Greek yogurt, and some Whole Foods brand chocolate whey protein powder. If you are avoiding dairy, use coconut yogurt and a vegan protein powder. Or just use cocoa powder. I did that one day and it was what the candy commercials would refer to as, "sinful" and "decadent."

The finished product. I'm trying really hard not to caption this with, "guzzle my nuts!"

So this texting for accountability is helping me a lot. I have already noticed that my crazy urge to eat All Of The Candies at 9:00 every night is mostly gone. We had some friends over for dinner this weekend and ate some really bitchin' gluten-free cupcakes that I made - and I honestly didn't even really enjoy it. I mean, it was a good cupcake. But it was not as satisfying as I had hoped it would be. It was just meh. 

And I don't weigh myself normally because for me, that just leads straight to Crazyville. I know it works really well for some people, but it makes me obsess in unhealthy ways about getting to a number. But. I was just at the doctor 2 weeks ago, and when I checked myself today, I was 5 pounds lighter than that doctor weight. So maybe not eating candy is working for me. But my main gauge is that my pants fit normally and that's good. 

This concludes a long and rambly post about my eating habits and random dirty nut jokes tossed in. Thank you, and good day.

happenings

- The day Wade left for Los Angeles, I was feeling very sad about missing my partner and also at the thought of being alone with two small crazy people for several days. When I got the mail that afternoon, there was a box in the mailbox. The label was addressed to "Allison Chlamydia Wilson" - so I knew that whoever sent this box had a masters degree in awesomeness. Upon opening the box, I found these sunglasses, courtesy of my cool friends Becca and Zach. If you know them, then you are lucky. If you don't, then I am sorry because you are missing out. 

I moustache you a question

- Over the weekend, I made this marshmallow fondant princess frog for my friend Kim. Audrey is bff with her youngest daughter, and it was her birthday. This frog was actually fun to make, and there was no crying or swearing, or kicking over folding chairs like a pro wrestler (ahem. Harry Potter Lego birthday cake incident.)

There was leftover fondant, so I let Julian play with it, and he made Pikachu, and some bees. He's rad.

- Speaking of how rad Julian is, he was in 2 student films at the university where Wade works, and they have been nominated for a Student Academy Award. What the what!!! The major one is this film, "Birthday Psalm", because he was the main character. He is only 8, yet already so much cooler than I will ever be.

- Audrey is so much fun, and a total nutbag all in one. She is so very two years old, and sneaks away to color on every surface in the house, and is suddenly fearful of the bath tub (despite being a former bath lover) because she swears, "Monssers! Coming for me! Eeeeeeee!!!" Today, I tried to make her take a nap in her own bed because she is getting cooler all the time and is no longer a neversleeper. The girl sleeps through the night now, and takes naps almost every day. I will take this over her former 3-hours-a-day sleeping habit any day. So, I was in her room and lying on this little fold-up futon on her floor, and I told her that she needed to climb into her bed, and I would hold her hand so she could fall asleep. This is our routine. She says, "Hand!" and we hold hands, and she falls asleep. But today, she would not, and would only say, "Sit up. Audie stowwy." She wanted to sit up in her bed, and tell me a story. It was like this: "One-saponna tieeeee, Audie anna monsser paying." (Once upon a time, Audrey and a monster were playing.) It went on like this for too flipping long, and she never took a nap today. But she was crazy cute, so that helps.

loss

Wade is in Los Angeles right now, and had to go through the difficult experience of burying his father on Friday. He told me that the funeral service was beautiful, and kind of crazy. When the minister started the service, a huge storm came on at the same time. This is L.A., where it's always sunny and never rains. The wind blew the doors of the church open and made the flag on Bob's coffin flutter around. It was a show of theatrical thunder and lightning throughout the whole ceremony. The minister apologized, and said that it was storming too hard for the sons to walk the coffin out, and that they would have to finish everything inside the chapel. The rain lifted just as it was time for his sons to walk his coffin to the grave. 

Can I tell you about Bob for a moment? He was a crazy artist. The guy could make art out of anything. His main thing though, was finding four-leaf clovers and turning them into pictures of carousel horses. I was unable to get a really clear photo of this picture that hangs in our kitchen because of the lighting. This thing is enormous and takes up most of the wall. And it's filled with four-leaf clovers. Bob had this almost magical gift for finding them. I remember once, when we went to the park with him, we were sitting on the picnic blanket and Julian was playing with some trucks, and Bob said, "Look, there's a four-leaf clover." And I couldn't see it. I thought he was bluffing. But he walked over, about 20 feet away, and picked it out of a patch of clover like it was no big deal. He said they were a different color to him. He made hundreds and hundreds of pieces like this, and we have several in our house. 

When Wade's brother and his wife were sorting through Bob's apartment and his belongings, they found a box full of thousands of clovers that Bob had picked, pressed flat, and dried. They were going to be used for making more art. Only, he got too sick to do what he loved, so they stayed in their box. So at the funeral, as people were walking by the grave, they reached into that box and grabbed handfuls of clovers, and dropped them in his grave.

One thing that I have learned through this is that children sometimes have a difficult time expressing grief or talking about death. There are so many questions, and how am I supposed to answer them when I am so confused about it myself? I have no answers. When it became clear that Bob wasn't going to survive this last stay in the hospital, Julian started asking questions about the situation, and some of his questions seemed insensitive. If I didn't know him, I would think he was just being rude. But I have heard that children filter these things differently, and their extreme bluntness about a subject that most adults try to handle very delicately and gracefully, can be somewhat alarming. We're understanding that this is a loss for Julian, too, and his questions, blunt as they are, are just as valid for his grieving process as anyone else's.

Whatever it is that comes after this life, I hope that Bob is at peace now. 

easter

Oh, Easter! You sneaky sucka. Every year, I say that you will not break me down and make me eat All Of The Candies. And every year, I do. This year has been no different. My facehole is a shelter for homeless Peeps and Cadbury Eggs. 

We had a really lovely day, and here are some photos - mostly of Julian and Audrey hunting for eggs in our yard. Hello, North Carolina! You are lovely in the spring. 

Now that I have shown the sweet photos of my children, would you like to see the very best family photo from the day? Of course you would. Here it is. It was the end of the day, and we were all tired and full of ham (I am so sorry, vegans) and Audrey was losing her motherloving mind. And the expression that Wade and I are sharing is one of, "Children! YAY!" Ha! Look at us. We are over it. Julian is the only one who looks even remotely pleased. Even our dog and cat are about to get into it.  Happy Easter!!